Some explanation required
So, a bunch of my old high school buddies are throwing a surprise party for our friend Dianna. I didn't want to risk spilling anything, so I decided not to go to the birthday deal she put on tonight. However, I sent an email just to further the bluff, about how I was sorry I didn't make it. Originally I inteded to just be contrite, but at some point, the whole thing turned into a joke, and from there on, I was off to the races. What follows is my apologetic email.
Dianna,
I apologize most sincerely for missing your birthday party. I could never make the flick, but I did intend to show up for the afterparty. Around 6 oclock...a shadowy man snuck up and cracked me on the back of the dome with a cinderblock. Twice.
It was 3 and three quarter hours later when I woke up, and for the life of me, I thought I was Batman. For the next 2 hours I jumped from roof top to rooftop fighting crime, paying no heed to how I didn't "know any martial arts" and "Had a 15 centimeter verticle leap". Finally, I came to, regaining my memories during a fight with "the cinderblocker" and he spilled the whole thing in an exceptionally long monologue. I cannot stress enough how talkative he was. On and on, about secret plans, and nemesii, how unfair his parents were this one time, how he totally invented the 2x4 and cinderblock impromptu table while he was in college, where he majored in art history, and so on, you know, the whole thing. As we had tea and cucumber sandwiches halfway through the speech, it all came back to me, and I wanged him in the dome with his very own cinderblock. Irony, thy name is...form molded concrete.
So, as you can see, It was actually YOU who didn't show up to MY birthday party!
Or I could just be an ass.
Hella Sorry,
Syncdata
posted by Sycdata @ 12:31 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
ROFL! you obviously have a knack for excuses. and 15 centimeter vertical leap sounds way better than six inch jump.
Okay, so I turned on the freaking gibberish generator, and still ad posts get generated. I really don't want to turn on the comment moderation, but so help me, I will do it, if for no other reason then to spite you bastards.
Forgive me while I attempt to create a new prayer.
Lord, please grant me the strength to smite these selfish dicks who insist on coopting other peoples blogs, email, fax machines, and phone numbers to sell repugnant crap. I do not want your porn, or your herbal flim flam, penis enlargement methods, nor anything involving the phrase "Git er done". I ask this in thine name,
Amen.
The post had me laughing.
The prayer had me ROLLING!
THat's some funny shit, Mister.
Keep it up
I want to steal your letter... but I am too damn honest to do so without giving you credit... plus no one would believe I wrote something so hilarious.
I give you permission to steal it, but you should probably change my name at the end for your name, and Dianna's name for someone elses.
Otherwise, it would be kinda obvious.
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