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This is for those of you who have seen "So I married an Axe murderer"

Area Boy's head freakishly large

San Francisco: A local boy is believed to have the largest head in the world, according to eyewitnesses.

"It's rediculous. It's like a melon with a toothpick in it" says his father, Shmidtty McShmidt, age 64.
"Imagine looking at Saturn, edge on with the ring. That's close."

Local astronomer Tad Winklestein agrees. "That's a fairly accurate physical description, but when gravitic effects are taken into account, it's quite a precise analogy. His Grandfather showed me a video tape of the boy walking. A hummingbird got too close, and eventually crashed into his enormous afro. What is fascinating is that the bird was actually trying to escape the gravity well, to no effect. Ideally I would encase his head in a bubble, to keep objects from entering this vortex, but that would kill him."

The boy's head has been the subject of much scientific curiosity, says UCSF Physics Professor Muon Chambers. "Whenever our department has a scenario involving an arbitrary volume, we measure that in units of TBH, or 'The boy's head'." He continued: "Personally, I'd like to fill his head up with helium, to see if he would float. But that would kill him."

"It's quite difficult for the boy, what with his head having a personal zip code, and the weatherman on channel 5 including it in forecasts." said his grandmother. "That man's accuracy when it comes to the boy's head is astounding" adds her husband.

The boy was only heard to mutter unintelligably.