It was a CENTAUR!

I present you this hilarity in video format.



You can always tell someone is hip to the java bean when /. is mentioned. I've pulled the key rebinding myself. Other techie pranks: Using the marqui screen saver to say something embarassing, then password protecting it so they couldn't shut it off, changing the sound files, so instead of the email chime, you'd get a fart noise, to say nothing of various fun that can be had with reg hacking.

I never said I was a mature person.

Some explanation required

So, a bunch of my old high school buddies are throwing a surprise party for our friend Dianna. I didn't want to risk spilling anything, so I decided not to go to the birthday deal she put on tonight. However, I sent an email just to further the bluff, about how I was sorry I didn't make it. Originally I inteded to just be contrite, but at some point, the whole thing turned into a joke, and from there on, I was off to the races. What follows is my apologetic email.

Dianna,

I apologize most sincerely for missing your birthday party. I could never make the flick, but I did intend to show up for the afterparty. Around 6 oclock...a shadowy man snuck up and cracked me on the back of the dome with a cinderblock. Twice.

It was 3 and three quarter hours later when I woke up, and for the life of me, I thought I was Batman. For the next 2 hours I jumped from roof top to rooftop fighting crime, paying no heed to how I didn't "know any martial arts" and "Had a 15 centimeter verticle leap". Finally, I came to, regaining my memories during a fight with "the cinderblocker" and he spilled the whole thing in an exceptionally long monologue. I cannot stress enough how talkative he was. On and on, about secret plans, and nemesii, how unfair his parents were this one time, how he totally invented the 2x4 and cinderblock impromptu table while he was in college, where he majored in art history, and so on, you know, the whole thing. As we had tea and cucumber sandwiches halfway through the speech, it all came back to me, and I wanged him in the dome with his very own cinderblock. Irony, thy name is...form molded concrete.

So, as you can see, It was actually YOU who didn't show up to MY birthday party!

Or I could just be an ass.
Hella Sorry,
Syncdata

Weekly world news

This is for those of you who have seen "So I married an Axe murderer"

Area Boy's head freakishly large

San Francisco: A local boy is believed to have the largest head in the world, according to eyewitnesses.

"It's rediculous. It's like a melon with a toothpick in it" says his father, Shmidtty McShmidt, age 64.
"Imagine looking at Saturn, edge on with the ring. That's close."

Local astronomer Tad Winklestein agrees. "That's a fairly accurate physical description, but when gravitic effects are taken into account, it's quite a precise analogy. His Grandfather showed me a video tape of the boy walking. A hummingbird got too close, and eventually crashed into his enormous afro. What is fascinating is that the bird was actually trying to escape the gravity well, to no effect. Ideally I would encase his head in a bubble, to keep objects from entering this vortex, but that would kill him."

The boy's head has been the subject of much scientific curiosity, says UCSF Physics Professor Muon Chambers. "Whenever our department has a scenario involving an arbitrary volume, we measure that in units of TBH, or 'The boy's head'." He continued: "Personally, I'd like to fill his head up with helium, to see if he would float. But that would kill him."

"It's quite difficult for the boy, what with his head having a personal zip code, and the weatherman on channel 5 including it in forecasts." said his grandmother. "That man's accuracy when it comes to the boy's head is astounding" adds her husband.

The boy was only heard to mutter unintelligably.

In celebration of independance day

A video celebrating George "still shorter than Syncdata" Washington, which you've probably all seen before.



Enjoy the fireworks!